I spent half the day yesterday paying for my macbook. I assumed that giving away money would be easy. How foolish I am sometimes.
So I basically got a new credit card to do this on, for my consulting business, because my last one was abruptly canceled after a couple of just-barely-late payments. I always paid in full and my credit rating is, I learned in my recent refinancing process, exceptionally high, so go figure. Anyway, I didn’t feel like fighting about it so I just got a different one. I ordered my macbook on it because I assumed my business debit card wouldn’t allow a charge over $2000.
So I used it and it was all fine, and now it’s time to pay the bill. I want to do it ahead of time, before the end of the year, so the purchase comes off this year’s taxes. I set up the new card in my online banking and it’s all good, and I make the payment. Great, except it won’t post until January 3. That’s no good. I call the bank and complain and they say there’s nothing they can do, but they give me my routing and account numbers and tell me to call them and have them just pull the money straight from my account, and it will go through instantly. Fine, fine.
So I call Citibank to do this and they say they can do it over the phone, but they’ll have to charge me $15 for the labor of taking my money this way. I politely ask them if there’s a way I can do it myself and they say to set up e-paying on THEIR website. So fine, I go do that. I set up my account, bang in my bank account numbers and so forth, do a pay in full, and then it comes back and tells me it’ll take 14 days to clear since it’s my first payment.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So I call Citibank again and tell them what happened and ask them to please take my money. They’re apologetic and say they’ll waive the fee this once since I’m waiting on THEIR system, and I say great, and we go ahead and do it, and then they say “oh” and it turns out they won’t take more than $1000. Because it’s the first transaction.
I’m expecting Rod Sterling to pop out of the closet and explain the nightmare of paying bills in the future… in the twilight zone.
End of story: the only way I can get this done is to overnight a fucking check to their payment center in Nevada. They are helpless prisoners of their computers and are powerless to override this $1000 payment limit. And so I spend $15 to do that. To fly a fucking piece of paper across the continent with extreme urgency. That’s the only way I can get this bill paid. Welcome to the digital era.
End story: it turns out my business debit has a $5000 single-day limit. Not $2000. So I didn’t even need the fucking credit card.
If somebody would please murder me, I’d appreciate it.
(Or, murder whoever is responsible for each of the ridiculous roadblocks I hit today. That would be better, actually. Thanks.)